My Life. Medication Optional.

I totally figured out how to change the font size in my new template.  I am a blogging genius! I deserve a cookie.

It turns out that in my head I look (feel) completely different than pictures show.  I forget that I have a birth defect, I forget that I have all the extra skin on my neck, to me, I look totally normal.  Hell, to be honest, after losing all the weight, I feel great about myself. 

It normally doesn't occur to me to worry about it, but I've been thinking about cutting my hair.  It's not super long, just about 3 inches past my shoulders, but I'd like to cut it to hit my shoulders.  When I started thinking about it, the first thing I thought of was how it would look.  And not in the normal, 'Will this look cute on me?' way, but in a 'Will this camouflage my neck enough?'  And it's really bothering me that I thought that.

I went to see a cosmetic surgeon in October.  I wanted to know if he could fix it.  If I could look normal.  He told me that for $15,000 and probably three surgeries, he could give me 'a minimal difference that only I would notice'.  Well, damn.  I figured that was that, you know?  It wasn't feasible, I should be over it, right?  I had all the confirmation I needed that it wasn't going to change for me and I could accept my body the way it was. 

I thought I had, but just thinking about cutting my hair has brought it all back.  I want to have short hair, I want to enjoy the freedom of not like a particular shirt more because it covers my neck.  I want to wear tank tops without being self-conscious.  I want to see in pictures what I see in the mirror.

Turns out that lots of people have lots of free time and talent and make blog templates so you don't have to be stuck with a blog that screams 'Blogger!' Of course, I don't these people to feel as thought their work is unappreciated, so I grabbed up a new template.  What do the (non-existant) people who read my blog think?

I just saw my kid put cheerios on the dog and eat them off of her.  That's just great.

So I went off the thyroid meds yesterday because I was insane.  I had a horrible headache and was jittery, like I'd had 5 or 6 red bulls.  And according to my husband, I was annoying as hell.  The directions say to cut out the meds until the issues subside, then get back on the pill wagon at the last dose before the problems.  I cannot wait to get back to it.  These pills are awesome.   

In other news, I am cranky and tired today, which may be from the lack of thyroid meds or because my kid won't give me a minute of peace.  I love her dearly, but no, I don't need her help making the bed, sweeping the floor or loading the dishwasher.  And since her way of helping is to put something on the floor and yell 'I made a mess!', it's really not helping my mood.

Here's the link to my Big Love S4 E3 recap.  Enjoy.

Nephew: "You're mean! I'm never coming here again!"

Me: "Promises, promises."

Today the goofy Facebook theme is celebs you have been told you resemble.  I've only ever been told one, but I was excited, because I dig Melissa Joan Hart.  I suspect I'm kind of a dork. 

Wishful thinking?

I run Mozilla FireFox because A) IE is sloooow B) Firefox has an awesome add-on that gets rid of all ads and C) cool add-ons that I just discovered.

I now have an add-on that makes the tabs at the top of the screen different colors.  It's my own personal rainbow!  I love it!  I'm definitely going to look up more add-ons.  In the meantime, here's where I got it.

FireFox Rainbow Tabs Add-On

It's  3:30 Monday afternoon and I still haven't seen the new Big Love.  I was going to watch it this morning but my boss called from out of the blue and wanted me to come and walk the store with him.  Since he comes into town every two months or so, I have to find the time for him.

Then I was going to watch it after lunch.  Except my grandma called and needed someone to haul a door for her.  So I took Jeff's truck and took care of it.  (I love my grandma.) Then we get home and Hannah is starving, so we're eating and watching Kai-lan.  I'm going to try and watch some of it when Jeff gets home from work, but that only gives me an hour until aerobics.  I suspect I'll watch it tonight and recap tomorrow.

In other news, my shoulder feels better and my doctor STILL hasn't called to tell me what my xrays said.  I'm guessing it is a pulled tendon, since it's still swollen but the pain is lessening.  It'd be nice if those $500 dollar xrays turn out to be useful, though.  I'd at least like to know what they showed.  I think my doctor tells the staff to call me and they don't because this lack of communication has happened before.  If she wasn't so nice, I'd be all over another doctor.  Damn her bedside manner!

Oh yeah, Brad and Angie might be on the outs.  Not even Jen Aniston cares at this point.